Growing Up is Something Else

So I really just thought of the first line, and I was like, "That's pretty catchy."  Then I got into my own head.
I don't like it all.
Still, this is my little space where I'm supposed to post the little thoughts and secrets that I don't like to share with the general public, those icky thoughts and flashbacks that keep me awake in the dark hours of the morning.  If you care enough to regularly follow what I type on this blog, then I suppose you deserve to see what goes on inside.  This isn't so much based on one specific situation (or one specific type), but a whole smorgasbord of incidents that flash into my head at very inconvenient times.
Maybe that's why I'm always so tired.  Perhaps it's why I'm awake at 3:00.  Perhaps it's why I hate dramas.  Perhaps it's why I always have music, why I always watch comedies and fantasies and animations and play stupid little games that have no meaning.  Because I would rather zone out than deal with what's in my head.


I'm a young soul, a free soul -
I'm not rough, I'm not dull!
I need space to explore,
See things I've never seen before!

Got a fresh mind, a clear mind -
Eyes open, I'm not blind
with negativity...
I just love the world I see!

Well hello, sir, how are you?
Are you swell?  Well, me too!
What's that, sir?  You want to
Explore with me?  Then let's scoot!

But what's that, sir?  The door's locked.
I can't run, I'm too shocked
At what's before my sight...
I need to go, I just--


Can't
think
just go limp and

Space           out



Years since and I'm so tired,
Yet I'm mentally wired.
I just can't seem to dream
About good times and sunbeams.

I like my box, my birdcage
of books, music, films, games.
I tried to explore then...
I got hurt once, then again.

It's what I get for flying free,
For trying to be me.
What I get - now I see -
For wanting to be happy.